If two people are living together, it is a very obvious thing that there would be conflicts and it is a normal thing. It shows the emotional level of the partners but one thing should be always remembered that these conflicts must be resolved. Conflicts occur and if the partners are not able to solve these conflicts, the family members are supposed to involve in their matter. If they do, the problems can be easily solved and thus conflicts would be finished. This happens when the relationship is caught in the general conflicts but what to do when the relationship suffers the private problems? Bed matters are supposed as the most private and secret contents which cannot be shared to someone else in a general manner and if we talk about family members, they also do not indulge in such matters and if they have to do somehow, they prefer to work indirectly. How is the sexual relationship caught among the problems? The answer is very simple is that the unworthy expectation of doing something new. We are not saying that the couples should not try something new in their sexual relationship. Even we say that there should be something new and creative but this must be in certain criteria. Sexual relationships are very important for a healthy survival of both the partners so if you want to try something new, you should first know the choice of your partner otherwise conflicts will rise. Sexual life is full of ups and downs and couples are advised to use their ups but avoid their downs. How to sort out the conflicts in the sexual life for a long lasting relationship, we will discuss in this blog. Some tips are presented here in this blog which has been provided by the marriage counselor and therapist Racheal Susman. Let’s check it out.
The energy level is not so equal
This is very common conflict occurred in the sexual life that the energy level of both the partners is not same. If you get a partner who not only cooperates you but also enjoy the sexual drive with the same energy, you should think yourself as the happiest person in the world. There are millions of cases who show the conflict of unhealthy sexual life like one partner is so eager to make love and he enjoys deeply but another partner works like a machine. One partner has too much excitement but the other one is full and not interested. If this happens in your sexual life too, you are supposed to wake up and be careful as you are about to break your relationship with your partner.
What to do to save your sexual relationship? You must be thinking the same and this is obvious but do not take the stress. We advise you to away from frustration. There is two kind of people in the sexual drive, one is excited and another is dull or not so interested. Dr. Susman says that both the partners are required a counseling. The first partner who is excited to enjoy the sexual life is given counseling like he/she is advised to calm down its desire up to some extents. He/she is supposed to play the love game according to the level and expectation of the second partner but it does not mean that he/she is suggested to live a blaring life but all he/she is said is to work in a standard manner. For example, if the person is excited to make love, it may happen that the person wants to try something which is totally meaningless for the other one. Now it is very sure that the other person will not show the eagerness for sexual drive. So, this is what the first person is said to avoid and play something which is enjoyable for the other partner too.
Now, the second partner who does not show the interest while lovemaking is supposed to have counseled more. Dr. Susman says that first of all the person is studied well why he/she is not showing the ample amount of interest. There may be a major cause for that like stress, frustration, anxiety or any other mental disorder and if the partner is found to have these problems, it is obvious that he/she would not be able to enjoy the sexual relationship. In this situation, the person is required some extraordinary counseling to sort out their problems which are causing stress or frustration.
Relationship is without sex
When there is such a case like the partners are not having sex, Dr. Susman investigates some serious kind of questions. She takes her patients back to their begging phase of the relationship and asks about the type and time of sex. The only intention is to check out the interest of the partners which is actually lost. There can be one more reason for such a life. Sometimes it is found that the partners do not have sex because one of them is indulging in cheating the other one.
When this reason is seen to occur, the partner who is cheating on the other partner is advised to be loyal because if he/she does not do the same, the relationship can be broken. Meanwhile, the other partner is supposed to have patience.
Partners should be creative persons along with the passion
To maintain the relationship for long while, the couples are advised to be creative with each other. If they have sex, in the same manner, every time, their sexual relationship will be a burden and they would remain like a machine. So, for the healthy sexual relationship, the partners should do experiments but they should be healthy and joyful. One thing should be always in the mind of the partners is that they should always try to do such creative contents which not only provide the joy but also they are free from any kind of side effect and harm. The thing which is not in a descriptive manner should be avoided by the couples as they may break down the relationship rather maintain for a long while.
Sexual fantasies do not match equally
Most of the times it is seen that one partner have very strong sexual fantasies but the other one doesn’t have. If he/she has somehow, maybe it is not easy to express for him/her. In such cases, partners are advised to understand the actual sexual behavior of each other. They are supposed to do something which is liked by the both. If one partner is having the super strong sexual fantasies but the other person is having some hesitating issues, the previous partner is supposed to help the other partner to maintain the same order. First of all the partner with super strong fantasies should ask the choices and fantasies of the other partner and it is unable to share, the previous partner should start sharing its own fantasies from the bottom line of excitement and expose. It is like the previous partner should make the other one easy and comfortable and also to realize the other partner that sexual drive is to enjoy rather to shy.
More than one person to enjoy
The most important reason for relationship break down is that the partners are bored. If one partner is bored from the other one, it begins to find out someone else as the night date. Dr. Susman says that this is a consideration of the partner who has become tired and bored with the daily routine as other options of communication.
These are the common conflicts in the sexual relationship and any couple is having the same issue, it is advised not to be frustrated and irritate but to consult the counselor. If these conflicts are not met to the end, the sexual relationship is supposed to be broken soon in a painful manner.